The American Gamer’s Bill of Rights
I meant to post this yesterday, but I forgot.
As an American Gamer; you have the right to:
1 – Purchase any and all hunting games, regardless of their 100% negative reviews.
2 – Cry, whine and beg a Japanese company to release your favorite, obscure RPG in the US and when the game finally arrives, opt not to actually purchase the game; thus screwing those of us who actually want quality games to be released in various regions.
3 – Purchase a Nintendo Wii “for the family” and secretly play it each and every night after the kids go to sleep.
4 – Scream at your TV, Monitor or Handheld for any reason (or no reason at all!)
5 – Complain that Nintendo games are “unrealistic” and/or “too cartoony” whilst somehow justifying gunfights in space as “lifelike” and additionally depriving yourself of numerous quality titles.
6 – Sell your used video games and systems to Gamestop for 15% of their actual worth only to find yourself buying them back on Ebay three years later at 115% their original price.
7 – Name a character in an RPG after the male genitalia.
8 – Brag about your Goldeneye, Smash Brothers 64, or Street Fighter Turbo skills to any and all who will listen because you know you’ll most likely never have to back up your talk.
9 – Get excited about and continue to purchase games with numbers in their titles… every single year for “the new stats”.
10 – Wildly shoot at the dog in Duck Hunt.
…with liberty and justice for all.