Twas the night before Brawl’s launch, when all through the house
All the Smashers were dreaming, of that electric mouse
The wiimotes were charged in their cradles with care
In hopes that soon Mario & Samus would fight thereThe children weren’t anywhere near their snug beds
Because visions of smash balls danced in their heads
Peach has her turnips and Kirby his caps
And Jigglypuff will slay you when she takes a nap

All over wifi there arose such a clatter
All the smash kids knew just what was the matter
Away to their Wiis, they flew in a flash
Tore open the plastic and removed the new Smash!

The world could be ending and we wouldn’t know
All the Smashers are basking in the Wii’s bright blue glow
When, what to my Nintendo eyes should appear
But Mario’s big smile and Warios leer!

There were so many characters, lively and quick
We knew in this moment that this series would stick
More rapid than eagles the new characters came
We unlocked them all then we called them by name;

Now, Pit! Now, Pikachu! Now Samus and Sheik!
On, Wofl! on, Wario! on little Toon Link!
To the top of the tier list! Get that smash ball!
Now dash away! Dash away! Then trip and you fall…

Some fighters like Metaknight even can fly
So just edge guard and hit them right out of the sky!
All over the intarnets the trash talk just flew
With a game full of toys and the Master Hand too.

And then, in a twinkling, I wrote this long spoof
Before, right at midnight, to Walmart I’ll hoof
As I draw out my wallet, the clerk turns around
He hands me my copy and back will I bound!

We’re all so excited, from head to the foot
And into the Wii, that new disk we’ll put
A bundle of games sit untouched on a rack
Because Smashers have found their new dose of crack

Our eyes — how they twinkle! Our spirits are merry
Our eyes are glazed over and its almost scary
Our mouths will drop open when Pit strings up his bow
What more secrets wait? We can’t wait to know!

With all the rivals with whom we’ve got beef
We’ll settle online and then give them grief
Mario, its time to launch your little round belly
And smash Sonic into a pool of blue jelly!

Mario is chubby and plump, but Link is an elf
I laugh when I see them, in spite of myself
A charged up controller and a thought in my head
Sakurai made this game, there’s nothing to dread

We won’t speak a word because voice chat don’t work
Why? We don’t know. Because Iwata’s a jerk?
But we’ll taunt a brief message to our friends with a pose
And get back to the action before anyone knows

I’m done with my rhyme, I don’t want to bristle
Enough about fireballs, arrows and missiles
So from our Wii to yours, on this important night
Happy Brawl Launch to all, and to all a good fight!